Sunday, February 03, 2008

Divine Guidance

Today's reading from the COPE Bible is delivered by Reverend Losantos from the Unreformed Church of the Latter Day Fachas.

It was in the time of the Spanish elections and the people were confused. They gathered in the market place to discuss who they could support. “Let us consult with Moses”, said one, “for does he not speak directly with the Lord himself?

The crowd made their way through the narrow streets to the house of Moses. “Who shall we vote for, Moses, who? Tell us!” they cried. Moses dithered, for he was what they call an indeciso. “I’m not sure”, he said to the people, “but I shall climb the mountain and seek guidance from the Lord.

So Moses climbed the mountain. At the top all was cloudy and dark. Moses took his staff and struck the rock a mighty blow; slowly the clouds parted and the Lord appeared before him.

Oh it’s you, what do you want?” said the Lord.

Oh Lord, the people seek guidance for the elections, they know not who to support” said Moses.

We don’t do that Moses, we are above the day to day party political squabble. It’s the spiritual stuff that we do. Since you’re here, however, I can offer you a couple of basic guidelines.

Unblessed are the peacemakers, for they shall not negotiate with the terrorist.

Moses pondered for a moment. “But Lord”, he said, “all of our governments have negotiated with the terrorists, even the angry little man with the moustache did it, please help us to choose.

No vote from the faithful shall go to the abortionists.

Again, Moses sought clarification. “Is it not so Lord, that all of our governments have also accepted the law of abortion?

The Lord sighed deeply, and began to wonder if there were not better ways of communicating with the faithful. “Beware the symbol of the red rose, for it shall bring pestilence, plague and much strife throughout the land” he declared, and with that the clouds closed in and all was silent on the mountain.

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